Turn Back Time
by giovanbronckhorst
Summary: The last time Severus ever saw Lily alive...


**Disclaimer:**** Unfortunately, none of it's mine. Not even Alan Rickman. I know what I want for Christmas!**

**Centric Character(s):**** Severus Snape & Lily Evans (Potter).**

**Pairing(s):**** Sev/Lily.**

**Summary:**** The last time Severus ever saw Lily alive… Small ficlet inspired by **_**Wherever You Will Go **_**by The Calling.**

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_If I could, then I would_

_I'd go wherever you will go_

_Way up high or down low…_

_Run away with my heart_

_Run away with my hope_

_Run away with my love…_

_I'll stay with you for all of time..._

_If I could turn back time_

_I'd go wherever you will go_

_If I could make you mine_

_I'll go wherever you will go… _

A shuddering breath racked through Severus' body as he entered Diagon Alley. He knew she'd be here; it was nearing Potter's birthday and she would need to buy him a present. And Dumbledore had slipped a slight indication to him. The weather was getting colder, but was still a while until winter, being just the middle of October. The sun was out less and the days became shorter.

Her hair was the first thing he noticed. Its beautiful colour reflected sunlight and caught him in the eye.

_Now or never_.

As his booted foot scuffed over the cobbles, Severus drew closer and closer to the redhead. Her vanilla and jasmine scent hit his nostrils and he took a deep breath of it. He'd missed that smell.

He had hoped to catch her alone, but the baby was with her. _Henry? Harry?_ It was something along those lines. A 'H' name. Severus didn't really have much time for the offspring of James Potter. The baby's mother on the other hand…

Harry/Henry had just turned one; that much Sev knew. He has his father's messy mop of black hair, but Severus immediately recognised his eyes as Lily's.

_I always loved your eyes, Lily._

As soon as he was close enough to get her attention, Severus called out her name. Lily turned abruptly and subconsciously reached for her wand. During times like these, you could never be too careful…

Noting that it was Severus, she relaxed her grip slightly, but did not let go completely: Sev had been her friend for many years, but she knew exactly what circles he travelled in. Her one-armed grip on Baby Potter tightened considerably.

"Severus," she spoke with a curt nod.

For a moment, Severus was unsure of what to say or do. The baby looked at him with his young curiosity and the man felt almost weak under his gaze at just the thought of what was being planned. A lump rose to his throat, but he pushed it away hastily.

"Lily…"

"_What_, Severus? I have things to be getting to," Lily cut in sharply, not enjoying being in his presence.

"Erm- How's… Harry?" Severus took a great risk with the name, knowing that if he was wrong, Lily wouldn't stand around and listen to what he had to say.

_You've got to listen, Lily. _

"Harry's fine," Lily replied, her expression softening just a touch. Perhaps Severus' sigh of relief was also visible as he knew he'd chosen the right name for Baby Potter. "Was there something you wanted?"

_You._

"Er… yes, actually. Would it be possible to talk somewhere?"

Lily faltered for a moment. "Not really, Severus. It's getting rather late. I still have to get James' birthday present and I need to get Harry home for his nap. He'll get cranky soon."

Severus nodded frantically, not showing that he was disappointed and indicated for them to move to the side of the Alley to talk with slightly more privacy.

Lily sighed but did as instructed, shifting Harry's weight on her hip, placing a dummy in the young boy's mouth. "What is it Sev?" she hurried.

Severus tried not to grin happily at her use of his old nickname. "Lily, it's really important that you don't go back to Potter. Leave Harry with him and go somewhere. Out of the country preferably," he insisted.

Lily sighed again and rolled her eyes. "Oh Merlin, Severus. It's terrible what happened between us, but I'm _not _leaving my husband, or son. They're my family."

"No, Lily, you don't understand!" Severus argued vehemently, desperate to get his point across.

"I understand perfectly, Severus. I know that you hate James, and he hates you. I stopped trying to change that a long time ago. But no way am I leaving my family."

"The Dark Lord-"

"_The Dark Lord?_" Lily cut in. "Severus, don't tell you're actually working with him!" Lily pleaded, a sudden dread overcoming her.

Severus shut his eyes and looked down at his feet, giving Lily all the answer he needed.

"Show me your arm, Severus," she demanded. Sev didn't try arguing with her; she was far too smart to believe him.

_I always loved your intelligence._

He rolled up his sleeve, displaying the Dark Mark he was branded with. Lily let out a noise that was almost a growl. "How could you Severus? How could you get involved with things like that? James warned me about you…"

Lily turned curtly on her heel, trying to leave, but Severus reached out and grabbed her elbow. "Lily," he spoke with clear pleading in his voice. "Lily, please listen to me. It's not safe for you to be here."

"If it's not safe for me, it's not safe for Harry or James. I _won't _leave them! And _you _lost the right to have a say in my life the day you called me a Mudblood. And the day you have that Mark branded on your arm, you lost the right to even have a second of my time. Pray tell, Severus- why should I even stand here and listen to you?"

Not giving Sev a chance to answer, Lily shook her arm roughly out of Severus' grip, jolting baby Harry as she did so. Harry spat out his dummy to the floor, but Lily stalked away without picking it up, comforting her son while continuing her hunt for her husband's birthday present. Severus watched in desperation as she went. Once she was gone, he bent down and picked up the dummy.

James never made it to his 22nd birthday. He never received the birthday present that Lily spent the better part of two weeks searching for. The young couple never saw Harry take his first steps, or speak his first words. And Severus never got to answer Lily's question: _why should I even stand here and listen to you?_

Now, 10 years on from that day, Severus sat in his private quarters after the first day feast and the sorting of the First Years. There, he came face to face with 11 year old Harry Potter… no longer Baby Potter. He reached inside a drawer and pulled out the decade old pacifier, the last remnant he had of Lily Evans. Then, he finally answered the question.

"Because I love you Lily."

*****

**A/N:**** It'd be lovely to get some reviews. They make my day! **


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